i really love this song now. sometimes i feel like this. hhaha. i hate the long days and lonely nights with only just thoughts and feelings of you.. i need to run..


Paramore - The Only Exception
{Verse 1}
When I was younger
I saw my daddy cry
And curse at the wind
He broke his own heart
And I watched
As he tried to reassemble it
And my momma swore that
She would never let herself forget
And that was the day that I promised
I'd never sing of love
If it does not exist

But darlin'

{Chorus}
You are the only exception
You are the only exception
You are the only exception
You are the only exception

{Verse 2}
Maybe I know, somewhere
Deep in my soul
That love never lasts
And we've got to find other ways
To make it alone
Or keep a straight face
And I've always lived like this
Keeping a comfortable distance
And up until now
I had sworn to myself that I'm content
With loneliness
Because none of it was ever worth the risk

{Chorus}
You are the only exception
You are the only exception
You are the only exception
You are the only exception

{Bridge}
I've got a tight grip on reality, but I can't
Let go of what's in front of me here
I know you're leaving in the morning, when you wake up
Leave me with some kind of proof it's not a dream

{Chorus}
You are the only exception
You are the only exception
You are the only exception
You are the only exception
[X2]

And I'm on my way to believing
Oh, and I'm on my way to believing


on the flip side, today was a really blur day for me, heard abt the joke of someone ordering teh ping xiu(hot).haha. uncle was like how to make?? ice tea but hot?? hahah. and i just embarrassed myself twice. once was at the mrt station, i saw the train come, made a rush for the train. the train inside was super empty, i was like wow.. too good to be true at 6plus.. yeah i was rite. it was just a service train and just zoomed past, ended up sitting down again laughing to myself. hahh. the second one was at orchard central. with the new doors being all glass and the building being glass too i stood infront of a big glass panel thinking it was the exit. moved front and down, left and right. i was like okayyyyy. then i saw it being obstructed. so i looked to the side! AHH must be there . okay so i did the same thing. and later looked up to see the sign of a man running to a door. i think it must be the emergency exit. gaahh. went off chuckling to myself again as i see someone else doing exactly the same thing as me after i just left. HAHAHHAHA awww. sighhh

well well, oct is ending soon! hahah. these past few weeks have been really packed and abit of a rollar coaster. hahaaa. okayy. happy 20th birthday straw head! haha. best wished from sam and straw bro. lol.

waiting for my SAT results to come out soon which is on the 29th. haha. really excited. well and there's a party this fri! weee!! hahaha. randomly made up while talking online. hahaha. intimate halloween party? haha. dunno if can get alot of ppl. well. last day of leave and its back to work for the next 3 days.sighhh.

i'm geting by, its starts to get easier day by day rite?

long days and longer nights.. i feel like crap now. i should sleep..bad words are coming into my brain.. sigh.

yayy. today played bball after so long. hoho jerome aza and clovis and other random ppl. haha. hopefully can play more fridays. hahaha. anyway later pearle joined for dinner and we ate at this place called bbq chicken. hahah okay the food not bad and the woman thot my ezlink card was a student one :s well haha. saved some money. haha. later headed for desserts, i bought bakerzin to eat. blueberry cheesecakee! yumyumm!! haha. anyway the evening was nice and it was a great distraction. thanks guyss. hhaha :)


you tug at my heart string;
i've got to learn to ignore

as a friend, sometimes i feel you treat me just so sold and bleah. maybe u're just cranky or my worse fear.. i just mean that little to you..do i?


loving someone makes you vulnerable,
it gives them the power to hurt you and make you weak
but alas, they're the ones who make your day
their smile just makes you feel strong and everything is okay.
the hardship of love, easy to give, yet so hard to find.
breaks your heart easily but memories are hard to forget.


music: relient k - let it all out

dad just scolded me for not offing the study room com. totally forgot. so fierce.okay just wraps up my horrible dayy. :'( nites

no matter how hard i try, it still hurts.
i'm afraid to ask you how much i mean to you.
cause you don't really seem to care.
i really hate this..

well, does it all end here? got a broken heart again. it just seems to be the medicine again. i said we're cool as friends i just smiled to hide the facade; tears that stream down my eyes..i'm sorryy i suck as a friend. at least i'll try to be there as your bro/ friend which u so want.. anyway u wouldn't know of this.. lets keep it buried here.ezra will have a better tmr :)

been reading 1985 haha. its a great book. very mind stimulating i guess. been long since i read a book like tat. hahaha. yes. bookworm ezra.




i'm scared to tell you my feelings..

Gaah i was trying to encourage lichu to really do her QT again. i hope it didn't backfire, it just creeped into the convo when she doing her lit. darn i guess it was a bad time. :x. sighh. i think i bared my heart quite alot in that convo although i guess she didn't notice it or perhaps to distracted. i really hope she didn't get like turned off or irritated. didn't wanted to add to her burden of studies and yet i talked about this. i knew she was feeling bad enough and wanting to really get closer to God again. my heart aches for you, u just don't see it beneath the smiles and hahas that mask what i really feel. i only want you to be happy. gaah. i really suck at this. well she agreed to this plan to start QT from small again, and i have to remind her.. i hope i don't become a pest in the process.. i really am at a lost.. i have feelings for you.. but i have to keep my promise as a bro. i feel guilty. how did i get to this point? i really want to support you now, i hope i don't end up being a hindrance. sigh. my mind is just jumbled up, just decode them.

for you lichu, the friend that means the most and more to me
made a promise that i'll keep;
to catch you when you fall
in sad and happy times
to be there as support
or a pillar of strength

....but am i just a ghost to you?
or will you realise that we could be something more ?

-music in my head; decode by paramore.

hey baby, you're my heartbeat :). i just want you right beside me. i wish you'll know.






i wouldn't give up, not this time...

your smile gives me courage and strength :)

hii sillysillyboy,

new revelations have just shaked my trust,
i really don't know what to believe,
was it to show me the way?
God let me choose wisely

Hi thief,
i see you, but you feel so far away.
tried to get hold of you but you just slipped away.
oh how i wish i could tell you.
but i just keep getting pulled back.
I've faced the truth, have you?
Hopefully it will be what i wish for.

From,
Guy without a heart

hur tiring day today, didn't managed to cut my hair raah. howw sia? thurs perhaps! hope i don't get caught for one more day! HAHA. aight. tennis was cool. lol did something stupid took WS car key to try to open christian car. HAHA and i was wondering why canot open. hahah.

aight i dreamt of you the second time in 2 days, i don't really understand if the dreams say anything.. i've been praying. God show me the right wayy, pls.

yayy! back to shift hur hur. now can relax more! haha. wee! aight but still have to finish up the slides for the youth talk this coming sun? sighh. i'm pretty nervous, wonder what i'll say. i don't like to follow a text, perhaps just be alot of impromtu. lol. don't let me choke Lord. haha

okay. today is a nice cool tues, think i shall snip my hair.head down to serangoon gardens for fann i guess. then later trot down to yck for my tennis game if its not cancelled by the weather! haha. and perhaps a swim after that! raah. wonder if i'm so free to exercise to much after ORD! hehe. 3 more months! its cooming :D:D. it passed by quite fast and thank God for it, its been a nice and interesting experience. hoho i'll sort of miss it. haha. okayy back to slidess. sigh.


i'm trying, but its so tough.

GAAH! i feel so jealouss noww. sighh

S.O.S


i just feel you don't really care,
maybe i'm just excess to you,
or you're too caught up
but you ain't to me
it hurts, i'm choking

keep falling deeper, save me from sliding any further
its killing me softly..

Come Right Out And Say It
What It Is You're Thinking
Though I'm Thinking It's Not What I Wanna Hear

This just sums what i'm feeling now..i want a chance. but i'm so scared i would break your heart. i really want you to be happy.

afraid to tell you..

hahaha. i had no more black socks for camp. lol i had to wear my ankle length black ones.hoho. thank God never get caught. hoho. well got caught for some random encik for long hair. HAHA. well my hair ain't long and he must be jealous! pui.

off for some wosa night dinner later. bleahhh. byeee

hurhur. 2 more days to SAT, perhaps by some miracle God will give me grace to do the english portion and do it well. I guess if i do well, its God way of telling me to go to the US. hmm. aight God?pleaseee haahha. sighh. i got lost in sk today. haha. walked 40mins, next time i'll use the road more commonly treaded on! HAHAH. hope you enjoyed the surprise lichu:D haha

You weren't the perfect girl i dream off
still I didn't know why i fell for you
perhaps there's beauty in imperfection
and i finally knew how to overlook and cherish who you are

sigh. getting more tired each day..too much stuff to do, too many things on my mind. haha. wells. at least when SAT is over on sat i can rest for awhile. sighh. today i slept in camp again while on duty and was so tired i couldn't open my eyes! raah. hhaa. well tmr i going to be a long day again. well will go to starbucks to go studyy:) get a latte there. haha. last 2 days to do anything. and the youth talk thing is very pressing. still haven't finish the slides :/ i will do later i guess. after finishing the practice paper for SAT. sighh. jia you ezraa..

how i wished i i could tell you
couldn't bring myself to say those words
what you believe isn't real anymore
just call my bluff, but don't throw me aside
i just wanna love you.

well my itunes is on random now. ciaoo

lol. blogging for so many days in a row. sigh the day started on a very rainy note. haha. took the umbrella and went out. while i was crossing the road, I SAW MY BUS! raah. quickly looked out for traffic and ran with my umbrella and half opened bag :/ got one car honked me. anywayyy i was running for the front, my umbrella blocking and i didn't see this girl coming out. almost banged her with the umbrella. haha. wad a great day eh? then later in the bus i moved into the inner seat and i didn't realise my bag strap was covering the other seat. PS. hahah. the guy tapped me and pointed. haha. looked so fierce somemore. and the last straw had to be when i was getting off the bus. haha. i stepped on a guy shoe. HAHAA. aiyah wad a clumsy day, i was really tired. haha

Went to work, and couldn't resist sleeping, so i slept through from 12-2?i think. not too sure. haha. lunch came with the nice BEEF NOODLES. yumyum. my changi V fav now. haha.sigh. later quickly took out my SATS book to study abit. time is running out. sighh. went back early and wanted to buy pass concession. sigh not enough money. well another time then.

wee! today is third day of the first week of new project 6 P~ Ohlalalala~~~ hahhaah. will do my work later. sighh. i'm getting very tired. hhaha. aight practise for SAT! hope its an early night. banana pancakes! hehee

i'm really happy just to spend time with you.
let me be by your side:)

raah. my items still haven't arrived!! i was so eagerly waiting when the doorbell rang i ran from the third floor to see that its was some termite contractor the 1st time, the 2nd time it happen it was my grandpa. :/ hahah. wells hope they arrive soon. sighh please don't close the site down tooo. i want to shop more! it's so hard to find sprees for guys!! sigh. aight 6 more days to my SAT exam. been doing better than last time. hope its good enough. yayy. anyway i love the song retrace by anberlin. lyrics at the bottom! hhaha. today is just another day! hhaha. somehow i just love the chorus. yeahh cheers everyone:)

Retrace-Anberlin
Oh, how I've tried to get you out of my head.
And I lied, broken words I said.
Never thought I'd walk on this street again.
Standing where it all began.

Tried to forget when I left this town,
But it takes me right back when I come back around.

Retrace the steps we took on that long summer night.
I'm back there by your side.
Retrace the steps we took when we met worlds away.
Counting backwards while the stars are falling.

Oh, how I find every subtle thing screams your name.
It reminds me of places of times we shared.
Couldn't live locked in these memories.
Now I'm chained to my thoughts again.

And I tried to forget when I left this town,
But I'll take you right back if you come back around.

Retrace the steps we took on that long summer night.
I'm back there by your side.
Retrace the steps we took when we met worlds away.
Counting backwards while the stars are falling.

I need some shelter, I need some safety.
Photographs, they haunt me lately.
Chasing shadows as the evening takes me.
I'm still searching, but the picture's fading.

Retrace the steps we took on that long summer night.
I'm back there by your side.
Retrace the steps we took when we met worlds away.
Counting backwards, still counting backwards.

And no where else has ever felt like home.
And I can't fall asleep when I'm lying here alone.
I replay your voice, it's like you're here.
You move the earth, but now the sky is falling.

Retrace the steps we took on that long summer night.
In my mind, I'm back by your side.
Retrace the steps we took when we met worlds away.
Counting backwards while the stars are falling.

sighh. today was a long day at church, went after booking out of camp. Service came first, then was sun worship prac and then anni prac! RAAH! today totally no inspiration at all to play electric guitar.. sigh. must start listening to more i guess. but i dunno. wells. went to see Gerald kor kor and Deborah jiejie new car! hah. happy for them, its a really nice big car and really value for what they paid for. haha. so now i'm back home blogging after eating my dinner. sigh. still so much work to do. its been long since i felt i got alot to do. hahaha. and i just made a booboo asked lichu if she was at her grandma's when she passed away in august:/ crap. i was like oh shit. anyway sorry abt tat. i really have bad memory? or maybe just too tired it didn't click. raahh.

i WANNA EAT Chomp chomp Carrot cake (CCCC) and so does lichu who apparently had the same craving today. must be her that coz me to think of it. sighh. anyway much work to do for the youth course which i have to do on Oct 18, sighh, the adverts and slide. well hope the people that come can find something useful for it luh.hahaha.

anyway i was reading my past entires on fri nite. i found them super hilarious. haha so i shall blog every random thing here so next time i can laugh at it. hahah! i guess there're still no audiences here coz its been a dead blog for ..... a ... longg.... timee. hhhhaha

last night i spend more than an hour thinking about you before i fell asleep. hahaa. well wasn't really emo. was just thinking. hahaa. Please study hard! i'll be prayingg :D

I've liked so many girls before, are u just another passing crush?
I'm secretly hoping its not..

aight. i know what to do now, i just want to be by your side supporting you:)
till the time comes when things can be different.

you took my heart away
break or keep it, its yours to choose

Lord, thank you for giving me a blessed life, not everything has to be smooth sailing always. We will get sad, emo and I know you're my rock through those times. Thank You, You were always there.



i realised today i fell too deep, i hope i can tell you soon.

Lord, give me courage and wisdom to what's best and right. Thank You.


you have the most beautiful smile, one day you'll know
I wish i could take all your troubles and make you smile. sighh

Lovebug - my heart beats and squeals your name..