Gaah i was trying to encourage lichu to really do her QT again. i hope it didn't backfire, it just creeped into the convo when she doing her lit. darn i guess it was a bad time. :x. sighh. i think i bared my heart quite alot in that convo although i guess she didn't notice it or perhaps to distracted. i really hope she didn't get like turned off or irritated. didn't wanted to add to her burden of studies and yet i talked about this. i knew she was feeling bad enough and wanting to really get closer to God again. my heart aches for you, u just don't see it beneath the smiles and hahas that mask what i really feel. i only want you to be happy. gaah. i really suck at this. well she agreed to this plan to start QT from small again, and i have to remind her.. i hope i don't become a pest in the process.. i really am at a lost.. i have feelings for you.. but i have to keep my promise as a bro. i feel guilty. how did i get to this point? i really want to support you now, i hope i don't end up being a hindrance. sigh. my mind is just jumbled up, just decode them.

for you lichu, the friend that means the most and more to me
made a promise that i'll keep;
to catch you when you fall
in sad and happy times
to be there as support
or a pillar of strength

....but am i just a ghost to you?
or will you realise that we could be something more ?

-music in my head; decode by paramore.